i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
