Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
