What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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