it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
