We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
