I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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