What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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