I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
