____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
