We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
