her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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