anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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