I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
