Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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