we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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