Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
wow bdsm is so cute
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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