Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
