oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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