a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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