I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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