i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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