Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
