That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
