You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize