Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
