You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
