So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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