if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
