We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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