What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Btw I puked in your glovebox
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
