Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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