ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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