Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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