It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
