Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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