would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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