I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize