is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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