Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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