When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
