I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
