we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
