I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just want to make out with him forever
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
