biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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