he puts the penis in happiness.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
