Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
