Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
