The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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