We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
