im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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