god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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