I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
