he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize