Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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