Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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