You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
