The maid of honor just puked.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
