That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
