i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
