also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
