The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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