you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
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